HOLISTIC - The Invisible Gap

Jamie Milne

Have you ever trained someone who just didn’t seem to get it—no matter how many times you explained? Or felt frustrated when a team member kept repeating mistakes you thought were obvious?

Before you write it off as a “capability” issue, consider this: they may not even know what they don’t know. This isn’t a flaw—it’s a stage. And understanding these stages could change the way you lead forever

.The 4 Stages of Competence

1. Unconscious Incompetence - “I don’t know that I don’t know.” Someone is unaware of their skill gap. It’s not ignorance—it’s invisibility. Normalize the struggle for them.

2. Conscious Incompetence - “I now know that I don’t know.” This is the awkward, uncomfortable phase, where they don’t yet have the skill to correct it, so this is where support  and encouragement is most crucial.

3. Conscious Competence - “I can do it, but I have to think about it.” Here, they’re capable, but it takes effort and focus. Mistakes still happen, they’re building muscle memory, but it hasn’t become second nature—yet

.4. Unconscious Competence - “I do it without thinking.” This is where you are with many skills ingrained; so second-nature, it’s hard to even explain how you do it. The danger here? Forgetting how hard it was to learn in the first place.

What this means for leadership - when you recognise where someone is in their learning journey, you can shift from judgment to empathy, from micromanaging to mentoring.

The next time someone falls short of your expectations, ask yourself: “Is this a skill issue, or a stage-of-learning issue?” Then coach accordingly. Because empathy in leadership isn’t just kindness—it’s strategy.