by KERRIE FRIEND
Saying “no” is not always easy. Sometimes saying “yes” to you often means saying “no” to others, and that takes courage. When we get clear on who we are and what we desire in our lives, that clarity begins to create boundaries and our life ultimately becomes easier. I know learning to say “no” can be a very tough road but staying true to ourselves and aligned to what we believe and value in life is far more important. Saying “no” can also add to the quality of our lives and gives added value to our “yes” because we’ve learned the value of our time, especially with the realisation it is our most valuable commodity.
Choose wisely where your time is spent and your effort goes or you’ll be lost, fatigued, frustrated and in some cases you can even become resentful. It’s not others’ fault you said “yes” and now find yourself with less energy and not enough time to do what you really wanted to do. Learning the art of saying “no” is not a selfish act when instead you’re trying to apply your time more constructively. This revelation is imperative for our well-being and mental health, and I learnt this the hard way years ago until I realised I had to choose to value myself above what others thought and began setting self-love boundaries around what I said “yes” or “no” to. This quality decision gave me more time, less stress and allowed me to live my life much more authentically.
Rarely these days do I hear myself ever saying “Now that was a waste of time” because I stopped just spending time with people or situations that need my attention. When they’re necessary I now choose to invest my time in them, and that’s a life-changer. Sometimes the “no” you need to say is to you. I love the book The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery; it says “What is essential is invisible to the eye”. It reminds us all that kindness and compassion is never wasted time when they’re done with a right heart.
Discovering the power of saying “no” is an overflowing act of self-love and will help you stay true to you. This revolutionary habit when applied to your life allows you to experience the benefits and positive changes almost instantly. When you first adopt this practice it might seem like you’re being too insensitive or harsh but you’ll soon realise you’re only being kind to yourself. Then when you do say “yes” you’ll be all in, not half-hearted or aggrieved. Saying “no” gets easier the more you say it and the more results you see from it. Just be sure you use it in the way it is intended, filled with self-love, not selfishness. When you learn to say “no” your life becomes easier because you’re being honest with yourself. So let your “no” be a “yes” to your well-being.
God bless, Kerrie